Will the Silliness Ever End? I hope not!

Yesterday was the first day of lecture in my Microbiology Course. We always begin talking about what microbes are, define types of microbes and discuss the concept of size. I try to relate to the students the concept that things much too small to be seen with the naked eye can, in fact, play a large role in our lives, but those things are observable and natural. In our discussion of the history of microbiology, I refer to what is perhaps the most seminal turning point in the development of modern science- the controversy over and eventual defeat of the concept of spontaneous generation. When we finally understood that living things don't just appear, we could begin to develop a more rational view of the universe. Unfortunately, most folks never devote time to learning any more about the natural world than what they can sense in their immediate surroundings. Like a plant, they are influenced only by that in their rhizosphere (the small zone surrounding the roots). Anything unusual, anything with no immediate explanation upsets their world view. Perhaps the most distressing bit of personal knowledge we all have, at least to a very small extent, is the fact that we are mortal. We are born, we live, we die. There is no great comfort in this knowledge, nor is there any real understanding of why this happens. With all we know and all we have accomplished, we still haven't mastered death. So, like the great (and not so great) thinkers who came before us, we contemplate death and what it means. To me as a biologist, I know what remains after death is a resource that can and will be recycled, decomposed then reconstituted to become the basic building blocks of new life. I often joke with my students that after I die, I will have my body will be stripped down to the bare bones, which will then be sent back to the college to insure that I can continue to teach for all eternity.

Another point I try to make is that humans as thinking creatures cannot abide mystery. We have a genetically encoded need to know or at least to develop some sort of world-view that makes sense- if only to us. Unfortunately, we can't know everything. Equally unfortunate is what we tend to do when we can't find that knowledge- that nugget, that "nut o' fun" that gives us the answer. We make it up. It has been said that if someone tells you something often enough, it either must be or is true. So out of the woodwork they come, the screwballs, the crackpots, the seemingly serious but really just plain silly. When I find good examples of these, I'll point them out, not for ridicule, but because they are just plain fun.

On with the show. The concept of electronic voice phenomena (EVP) has recently become a popular topic since shows like the Sci-Fi Channel series SCIFI.COM | Ghost Hunters) have appeared. This obscure branch of the pseudoscience of parapsychology is based on the premise that dead people (or at least the invisible bits of dead people) are all around us, and that they talk a lot. Apparently, dead folks are really chatty, but unfortunately for them, we can't hear what they have to say, since after all, they're dead- and we aren't. Fortunately, however, if you've got a handy tape recorder and know just the right questions to ask, you CAN hear them on the recordings you make. This is apparently because, while we don't have ears designed to pick up the frequencies emitted by ghost whisperers, really crappy microphones with less range CAN do this. Silly? Well, not to the creator of this web page- Coffee Pot Ghost. Not only can she use her crappy microphone to record EVP, she has also come to the realization that her coffee pot is haunted, because as it gurgles and spits hot water it says stuff. Don't believe me? Go to the site and listen to her recordings. I especially like the looping midi rendition of Hot Butter's 1972 hit "Popcorn," though I still haven't figured out what this has to do with talking coffee pots. Maybe her Ronco Hot Air Popper is possessed too...