Will the Silliness Ever End? I hope not!

Yesterday was the first day of lecture in my Microbiology Course. We always begin talking about what microbes are, define types of microbes and discuss the concept of size. I try to relate to the students the concept that things much too small to be seen with the naked eye can, in fact, play a large role in our lives, but those things are observable and natural. In our discussion of the history of microbiology, I refer to what is perhaps the most seminal turning point in the development of modern science- the controversy over and eventual defeat of the concept of spontaneous generation. When we finally understood that living things don't just appear, we could begin to develop a more rational view of the universe. Unfortunately, most folks never devote time to learning any more about the natural world than what they can sense in their immediate surroundings. Like a plant, they are influenced only by that in their rhizosphere (the small zone surrounding the roots). Anything unusual, anything with no immediate explanation upsets their world view. Perhaps the most distressing bit of personal knowledge we all have, at least to a very small extent, is the fact that we are mortal. We are born, we live, we die. There is no great comfort in this knowledge, nor is there any real understanding of why this happens. With all we know and all we have accomplished, we still haven't mastered death. So, like the great (and not so great) thinkers who came before us, we contemplate death and what it means. To me as a biologist, I know what remains after death is a resource that can and will be recycled, decomposed then reconstituted to become the basic building blocks of new life. I often joke with my students that after I die, I will have my body will be stripped down to the bare bones, which will then be sent back to the college to insure that I can continue to teach for all eternity.

Another point I try to make is that humans as thinking creatures cannot abide mystery. We have a genetically encoded need to know or at least to develop some sort of world-view that makes sense- if only to us. Unfortunately, we can't know everything. Equally unfortunate is what we tend to do when we can't find that knowledge- that nugget, that "nut o' fun" that gives us the answer. We make it up. It has been said that if someone tells you something often enough, it either must be or is true. So out of the woodwork they come, the screwballs, the crackpots, the seemingly serious but really just plain silly. When I find good examples of these, I'll point them out, not for ridicule, but because they are just plain fun.

On with the show. The concept of electronic voice phenomena (EVP) has recently become a popular topic since shows like the Sci-Fi Channel series SCIFI.COM | Ghost Hunters) have appeared. This obscure branch of the pseudoscience of parapsychology is based on the premise that dead people (or at least the invisible bits of dead people) are all around us, and that they talk a lot. Apparently, dead folks are really chatty, but unfortunately for them, we can't hear what they have to say, since after all, they're dead- and we aren't. Fortunately, however, if you've got a handy tape recorder and know just the right questions to ask, you CAN hear them on the recordings you make. This is apparently because, while we don't have ears designed to pick up the frequencies emitted by ghost whisperers, really crappy microphones with less range CAN do this. Silly? Well, not to the creator of this web page- Coffee Pot Ghost. Not only can she use her crappy microphone to record EVP, she has also come to the realization that her coffee pot is haunted, because as it gurgles and spits hot water it says stuff. Don't believe me? Go to the site and listen to her recordings. I especially like the looping midi rendition of Hot Butter's 1972 hit "Popcorn," though I still haven't figured out what this has to do with talking coffee pots. Maybe her Ronco Hot Air Popper is possessed too...

MSNBC - Jan. 24 called worst day of the year - Plausible?

In my last post, I talked a bit about the influence cold had over our evolution. Now granted, most of us are tropical fish, after all our genetic origins are linked to much warmer climates, but I am still unsure about the validity of seasonal affective disorder (SAD) and its role in determining our happiness. In this article, MSNBC - Jan. 24 called worst day of the year, a British doctor has derived a formula that predicts today is perhaps the worst day of the year in terms of our overall sense of well-being. While I do believe that statistics can provide us with a great deal of insight regarding events in nature, I am not sure that the variables derived for this equation are solid enough to provide any key insight into human behavioral patterns. For those of you who don't know what SAD is, it is supposedly a feeling of depression linked directly to changes in patterns of light, darkness and temperature associated with the changing of the seasons. According to this hypothetical disorder, we tend to feel much less active and happy during the winter months or on days when there is less exposure to sunlight or daylight in general. In essense, our behavioral patterns are tied directly to neurochemicals associated with our diurnal lifestyle. Thus, according to this supposition, less light means less happiness. If we accept this idea, then people who live in places that get more daylight should be much happier than the rest of us. Somehow, I don't think that those who live in places such as Northern Alaska, Greenland or Anarctica have greater "happiness quotients" than anyone else. This, however, might make some good research for any of you who are so inclined. Just be sure to take care in the development of variables more grounded in observable behaviors than feelings.

Cold

Well, here I sit, looking out at the snow. Love it or hate it, this kind of weather effects us all in some way. We've all heard the speculation about global warming, global cooling, etc., but did you ever stop to think about where we would be without the cold? Our early mammal ancestors probably didn't worry too much about cold, living in a world dominated by dinosaurs, but it was their own natural adaptations that proved to be the big winners when the BIG COLD dropped in for a visit. When the competition for food and space ended, after the great dying at the end of the Cretaceous, mammals with their insulating fur, warm blood, fatty milk food and internal placental suddenly were in the evolutionary cat-bird seat. Off to the races they went, diversifying and spreading, moving into new niches and taking new roles. Even in the warmer places mammals became dominant big animals. Among these were our ancestors, still furry and relatively small, but with dexterous hands and feet and sharp little forward-facing eyes. They too began to spread out and adapt, growing larger and learning to survive. Some ventured away from the warm lands of their origins and, as the cold descended upon them, changed in ways that would make us what we are today. While our close ancestors had lost most of their ancestral insulating fur, they kept their warm blood and developed ways to adapt that were no longer dependent on mere chance or mutation. When the first proto-human realized that animal skins that once kept the beast warm could do the same for him or her, everything changed. When the fur-wearer found fire could keep cold at bay- and cook the beast from which the fur came- everything changed again. In a sense, the need to stay warm has driven human evolution. The cold, it seems, is the father of us all.

So I sit here, spout hyperbole, and watch it snow. Something I couldn't do at all if it didn't get cold at least once in a while...

Sunday Morning Thoughts

Well, it's 2005. The Twenty-First Century. I remember watching that old Walter Cronkite show (The 21st Century) on TV and wondering if all of those neat things would come true. Things have changed, though frankly, a lot has stayed just about the same. People are people, and while fads like disco, rap and pants that fall down to show off one's BVDs come and go, we all are pretty much the same, except not as young- and hopefully not as stupid. I remember one of my old professors telling us not to bother pursuing careers in microbiology, because with the advent of the new "wonder drugs," antibiotics, vaccines and the like there would be no need. Missed the boat on that one, didn't he? In the 1970s we were all horrified that gas prices were going up and that there wasn't enough to go around. We were worried about pollution and global cooling... yes youngsters, global COOLING! We were going to trigger the next ice age, since our cars and factories were preventing enough solar radiation from reaching the earth. We were worried about the Russians, we were worried about the Chinese, we were worried about immigration from Mexico. Democrats were conservative and Republicans were some arcane, hidden society no one except rich people understood (or could join). Cars were heavy metal and you didn't have to wear safety belts, put all the kids in the back of the pick-up and go to the Drive-In on Saturday night. You could record your football game or TV movie with your $1500 Beta VCR, or record your favorite music onto a cassette or 8-track tape, though the media and recording industry was howling about copyright infringement and how recording devices should be abolished or designed to make you pay them (not the artists- really). I wore blue jeans, flannel shirts or sweatshirts with hoods, bib overalls and a ball cap. I complained that there was never enough leisure time, that classes took too long and covered too much.

What about now? We are all horrified that gas prices are going up and that there won't be enough to go around. We are worried about Islamic fundementalists, we are worried about the Chinese, we are worried about immigration from Mexico. Democrats are liberal, Republicans are conservative (though lots of people still think they are some arcane, hidden society composed of rich people). Cars are mostly plastic, everyone wears safety belts, no one rides in the back of a pick-up truck, and there are very few Drive-Ins left- but you can rent the DVD. You can record your favorite movie or music as a VHS, MP3, DVD, etc., but the media and recording industry (think RIAA) is howling about copyright infringement and how recording devices should be abolished or designed to make you pay them (not the artists- really...except Metallica). I wear blue jeans, flannel shirts, sweatshirts and a ball cap, though I do have to occasionally wear a suit (I really hate this). I complain that there is too much leisure time and that I cannot adequately prepare my students in the time given. I'm older. I'm slower. I still like the same stuff. I know more about some things- I know less about many more. I am the same person I was- just with less hair on my head, more in my nose, and more adipose tissue (think fat) around my middle. How about you?

Hello

Hi there! This is my first attempt at producing a blog, so don't be too picky or overly excited by what you see here. For as long as I keep this up, I'll be posting little tidbits- mental bric-a-brac - a flow of consciousness as it were. A technology-based journal of my own for all the world to see. What you read here (if, indeed, any of this is actually read) may interest you, may enlighten you... or it may just irritate you. I hope you find it useful.